Monday, February 17, 2014

Fickle at Best

We go through life, meeting and making acquaintances that may/may not lead to friendships or romances. Meeting new people is exciting and invigorating for our senses. It gives you a rush that quenches our thirst, at least for a little while. Then we are off in search of something new.

I say people are "fickle at best" because we meet someone and take the time to get to know them - either over weeks or months, then after pouring so much effort in getting to know them, the interest just fades or they suddenly change their mind. It's almost like it was never even there. Either we are tossed aside for someone new or we do the tossing. Fairy-tales of finding the love of your life on a chance meeting really only happen in storybooks. Relationships are never effortless either.  

How can you be so interested in someone and then suddenly lose interest? You give them a glimpse of something that could be special, then snatch it away. It's almost as though you shut off the water faucet or turn off the light. It's funny how people do this without much effort. Even I am guilty of doing it.

Then there are individuals who claim to be your friend for life, but they never reach out to you. You get tired of doing the reaching. Why should you do all of the work? Relationships are just that - work. If you aren't willing to put some time and miles on your car for the sake of your friendship, then why should the other person? Why does it have to be SO hard? I'll admit that is does hurt when you feel you aren't such an important figure in their life anymore.

We are continually changing in this fast-paced life. Perhaps because we are moving at such a fast pace, we change our minds more rapidly than in the past. We make split decisions without thinking through the consequences or how they will affect the other person. We get lost in whimsical relationships that really aren't what we think. You may have thought what you had was special, but it doesn't mean they felt the same. You feel numb walking away, but obviously you can't stay.

We may also find something we don't agree with or the person doesn't measure up to what we desire, so we slowly stop responding or cut them off completely. What happened to accepting people as they are? If you knew how they were from the start, why be surprised now? Or how about compromising? People don't even try, they simply give up and move on.

Or is it more about who we are and the fact that maybe we are unsure of what we really want? If we knew, would we change our mind as often? Maybe slowing down and taking the time to get to know ourselves, to identify what we really want, would break the cycle we go through of being so "fickle" in relationships.

I try not to let people who seem to glide in and out of my life throw me off of my path. Even those who have hurt me, I try not to think about it. It's in the past now. I realize that not everyone really knows what they want, but they're there for a reason. It could be a lesson or to introduce you to something new. Even an unpleasant experience is a lesson to be learned. Whatever the reason, just be glad for the experience. Not everyone is meant to become a permanent figure in your life. Some are just passing through.

Until next time,

~ Crystal ~

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