Friday, May 19, 2017

Live your life and be happy

Thought of the Day:

"You can't change how people feel about you, so don't try. Just live your life and be happy."

As I grew up, I encountered people who seemed to hate me. It was the most bewildering thing because I never did anything to those people. They disliked me because I was me, I guess? They were brutally hateful and often made me feel horrible for even existing.

Even now there are people I may have been friends with at one point that have suddenly stopped talking to me—despite my attempt at finding out the root issue. Nobody is actually mean or hateful to my face anymore. Apparently, friendships do not carry the same weight with others as they do with me. I can't change their mind, especially since they do not want to work out whatever happened. So, instead of being upset over a situation I can't change, I let it go. It's as simple as that.

It's normal to outgrow people

I make an active decision to continue living my life and I'm typically content with that decision after I've had time to make peace with it. Not every friendship or relationship is going to last until I die. As time passes, people are going to enter and leave your life. You can choose to be disappointed because it ended or look back on the past with love for the pleasant times you had together.

I'm starting to discover that when I outgrow someone, my reaction is to let them go, which is absolutely fine for anyone else to do likewise. It's normal to let go of the people or habits that no longer fit your lifestyle. Unfortunately, the main issue with this is it may hurt the people involved but eventually, they will get over it.

A word on family

I've noticed my family is highly judgemental, well most of them anyway. Can anyone relate? For instance, with my family, since I'm not religious, I must be some demon spawn from Satan himself. Of course, I would have to believe in Satan to buy into it. I feel that people associate me with my biological mother, however, I am absolutely nothing like her. Ah, and most of my family members believe that I have it in my head that I'm better than them, which I don't. See what I mean?

I can't change the way my family views me. I stopped caring a long time ago because it used to upset me that nobody could see my achievements over my mother's failures or my failures. I have won many awards throughout the years. I graduated with my Bachelor's degree (still contemplating a Master's). I've done many awesome things, but for some reason, it's never noticed.

It used to disturb me but eventually, I started letting go. The thing is, and I've deliberated over this many times throughout the years, I'm so thrilled with how my life is going that I no longer care if my family approves. My first step was doing it for me—and only me. I make the right choices in my life for my and my children. That's what matters—not some relative that has ZERO communication with me, and the only time my name leaves their mouth is when they have something negative to say. Repeat after me: "You don't need that in your life. Good riddance!"

Make your life about YOU

Trying to change how other people feel about you will drive you absolutely insane. You will never feel worthy enough if that's how you live your life. Don't even think about doing it. Just don't. Change your way of living for YOU. Take control of your life and do what makes you happy. Happiness starts at the core of your being. Take it from someone who used to be extremely unhappy with herself because it just seemed that nobody noticed her or her achievements—you will never achieve happiness by trying to please others.

And, for those of you who may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or something else that has you dragging through your day—I hear ya—it's hard as fuck to get out of that rut. Take it from someone who has been there many, many times. You can pull yourself out. I'll have some posts just for you in the next few weeks.

Whatever you do in life, do it for you. You can't change how people act, feel, or what they say to you. You can change how you react to them. Keep your goals in sight, build your confidence, and focus on your life. You do not require the validation of someone other than yourself. Period.

Thanks for reading!!

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